He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
