My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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