the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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