well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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