Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
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