My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize