flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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