I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
