Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Randomize
