I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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