I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
