i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
