big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
the day after is always just damage control
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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