So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
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