I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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