We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Floor bacon is actually really good
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
