So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Randomize
