Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
