after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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