Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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