You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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