oh god the rape fog is back!
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
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