So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
