Already got asked if we're dating
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Randomize
