I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
you win again, gameday.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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