If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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