ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?