remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
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Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
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playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.