I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
