My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
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