there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
