i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
