i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
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my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
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well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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