You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I think your dad took our porno
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
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