i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
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