But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
