Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
