I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize