They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
