found the other keg... it's in the tree
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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