Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize