weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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