If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
