drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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