What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
