I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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