You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
he just fucked me for my cheese.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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