just come out here and I will go home with you...
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Randomize
