Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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