Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
