Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
