She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
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