I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
