I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Randomize