mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
