Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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