proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
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