I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Randomize
