Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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