guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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