She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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