I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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