Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
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