i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
