I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
